|Posted on June 10, 2018 at 7:15 AM|
In the early 80's I started to acknowledge people that wasn't my family as family. This acknowledgement came from being around these people so much to where we were spiritually bonded. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better family than the family I didn't acknowledge at the time, but what I was missing was being around people who laughed, and loved verses fighting one another. Oh sure I got that same environment eventually, but overall we made life full of fun everyday. Being able to express myself without being judged as weak was a mental goal I lived daily until I met a older woman who chose to teach me how to be mentally strong despite of. I never understood until I aged why I didn't listen to my mother as I did my godmother. The parent lecture was no good for me, I hated it! It felt like I had a slave master that would not let me be free until I was of age. Until eventually my mother passed, and everything she said came to pass. Now I understand that her disciplinary actions was to prepare me for the world I face today. Today I have a daughter that strives everyday to learn the world she see I am already accustomed to by my everyday actions. As I watch her, and other children grow my heart often hurt because I know the possibilities that might come in their life. My life has took turns that I didn't expect, but my mother was able to predict. I didn't hear her until whatever she predicted happen, by that time it was too late.
It is now 2018 and some people has taken on a whole new meaning of parenting. Now days 12 years old is the beginning sex age, 15 is considered grown, and most parents that can't take care of one is having 2 plus. In 2014 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter..by the end of 2015 she was enrolled in a childcare for educational, and work purposes. My child's father, and I spent roughly $10,000 our first year. We shopped on a budget, and managed but it was not in our plan to ever see our child lack because of today's issues in society. That made us give up things like our entertainment, hanging out with party friends, and focusing our attention solely on our priority, "our daughter." Our parenting got harder because of relationship issues. It affected our ability to show love to one another as my daughter had always seen, which eventually affected her by knowing the difference. I begin to notice how she worked harder at trying to do things herself instead of looking up to us for what she had already learned. I remembered then why I strayed away when I was younger...It wasn't that I didn't recieve the love needed at home, but I couldn't comprehend it because of the way it was shown. I didn't understand the bible at all, but was the fastest reader (lol). I grew up believing in God because I was told to, but I had no understanding of why I should because I didn't listen. I only heard what was attractive to my ears. So you see it wasn't what I was taught, but what I didn't listen to that strayed me away from my spiritual self.
I am now a single mom that interacts with my child's father because it is appropriate for my child to know how she came to be here. I do not wish anyone to be a single mom, but there are some cases worst than what is stated in this blog that makes more sense for some to be a single parent. However no child should have to suffer behind a parent's action. The trending problem today is women making choices based on what their being told instead of showed. After the male has hit and run they are stuck to deal with consequences, or vice versa. Then more than likely the single parent that is now struggling goes to the government for assistance all to be put in more debt, and divided with confirmation papers. Wake up people! The signs of poverty is in choices...you don't have to suffer when you evaluate the choices you make before you make them. Having a child does not make it easier to live. Having a child gives you greater responsibility because you now have to take care of 2 lives instead of 1. Why should a child have to become a victim of this unjust system because of the choices you made for that child. After my experience with government assistance I realized the only assistance that was is needed is "CHILDCARE." To be able to educate your child should be a priority decision made for their future. Since my daughter started at a very early age she is now advanced and prepared to go further, and get this "SHE LOVE SCHOOL!" I remembered hating school but passing, and listed as a A-B honor roll student. I was kicked out of public schools due to physical fights. I then went back years later and was tutored by my sister before passing my high school graduate test. It took me rerouting back to a positive environment to understand the importance of being educated. The credentials I have now I could have had way before if I would've listened. Although I don't regret the path that taught me a lot along the way- I know now that living life isn't just about have fun, but having something to look forward to that will benefit you and your future.
Today I teach my child in a way she too understand the importance of education on all levels, rather in school or in the street. When you don't know what path lies ahead for your child all you can do is your best at making sure you did what you could so they will have it together. There are no perfect people, but our children are molded by our actions. We can in fact show them how perfectly made they are with love, support, interacting with positive solutions, and goal planning. Please be aware and pay attention to your child's surroundings at all time, it makes a difference! Break the chain of welfare assistance for your child! Keep them educated!
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